That One Time People Kept Throwing Up And I Almost Died in a Fiery Wreck

This happened during our Alternative Spring Break trip to San Francisco in Spring 2011. There were eight of us on the trip, all packed into a beastly silver Chevy Tahoe that we nicknamed “Battlestar SJ”. One night we were driving back to my Uncle Wilson and Auntie Mary’s place (where we were lucky enough to be staying) after dinner, when Isaac started complaining about being nauseous. Pretty soon he was ready to blow and I quickly handed him an empty Safeway bag. Pretty much as soon as I handed him the bag he started throwing up. The sound was very memorable, like there was a hose in his mouth that was just spraying all over the bag. It was a very watery barf, though there were definitely a fair amount of chunks, which came in two distinct waves. Dave pulled over and Isaac jumped out of the car to finish his business and dump the bag. When he came back we asked him how he was doing and he said he felt great. I have to say, he took the whole episode is a lot of grace, given the circumstances. Thank goodness we had stopped at the Safeway a few minutes earlier, otherwise we probably would have lost our deposit on the Battlestar.

So with everyone feeling not-nauseous we got back on our way. We were crossing Market when I saw an equally giant vehicle, a Nissan Titan, barreling down at us. Dave saw him too and slammed on the breaks, and we both stopped in the middle of the intersection. We stopped maybe 1 or 1 and a half feet from the truck, with the driver right in front of us. He didn’t even look at us, just took off. I could hear other people yelling stuff like “Oh shiiiiiit” but, surprisingly, no one in our car said anything. The other guy took off and we just kept driving. I was preoccupied with the fact that if he had T-boned us I would have probably been reduced to a little puddle of fleshy goo. Then someone made a joke, which was a bad idea. For whatever reason Imari found the joke hilarious. First she started laughing, which caused her to start coughing, which then caused her to start dry heaving. She was doing all three at once and it sounded really bad. Unfortunately Isaac had just used our only bag. We pulled over and double parked, but because the car was new we didn’t know how to use the hazard lights. We were just sitting there in the TL with Imari sitting behind me, yakking/laughing/coughing. I kept telling Imari to get out of the car, mainly because she was sitting directly behind me and I didn’t want to get hit with any splash damage. I had to repeat myself a few times but eventually she got out and the rest of us just sat there, in the TL in the middle of the night, watching Imari dry heave by the side of the road. I rolled down my window and I heard a homeless guy yell something at us like, “You guys havin’ a big night, huh?” After like 5 minutes Imari finally stopped laughing and got back in the car. The homeless guy came over and asked me for some change but I really just wanted to get home at this point. I told him I didn’t have anything and we drove off.

Oh yeah, and then later that night Imari actually threw up.

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